A DYING FRIEND

A friend lies dying. Would my presence make any difference? As poets have implied on many occasions, death can be an inconvenience. I have a certain pattern to my life that doesn't respond well to disruption. I don't like to take time away from myself. When worse comes to worse, I can take a long afternoon nap.

My hometown is a ghostly place for me. Even the empty downtown buildings where there used to be laughter are haunted. I remember drinking with so-and-so at that empty lot on the corner and now both are gone, gone for years.

The last time I visited a dying friend he told me that he would be getting out of the hospital soon. He was dead within a few days. I might be bad luck for anyone who is holding on for dear life before he must commence his eternal sentence.

What do you tell a dying friend? Do you reminisce about the good ol' days? They were fun, but they were so many decades ago. 

I don't see many people anymore. I don't communicate with many people anymore. There are no nights drinking until the wee hours anymore. It's predominately family. Since I'm not smoking marijuana these days, I don't need to stop at a buddy's house for a hit or two anymore.

It's time to find a place by the sea. It's time to find a comfortable apartment with a balcony overlooking nature. It's time to concede that time is slowly consuming each of us, leaving only dust and bones when it is finished with us. 

Should I tell my dying friend that the moment has come to let go? We should have known better than to fool ourselves into thinking that this pleasure would last forever. Rather than saying anything, would he desire one last touch before parting ways?

I would like to be there, but I can't summon the will. My mother was residing in California when both her parents died on separate occasions in her native Massachusetts. She didn't attend either of their funerals to the horror or her siblings. They didn't speak to her again. She didn't care. She said that she would rather spend the money on a weekend in Carmel or a stay in the wine country.

I probably won't go to her funeral either. She is right. I could better spend the money on an excursion elsewhere. As to my friend, I wish him well on his journey. All of us will be joining him sooner or later.